Patterns of Communication and Impact
It has always been my belief that if we each take responsibility for our impact and are honest enough to hear feedback, then we can grow as people and as leaders. Transactional Analysis helps us to understand our responses to the communication and behaviours of others and to reflect on why we respond the way we do.
We can all get hooked by the communication and behaviours of others, especially if they reconnect with old tapes and patterns of behaviour. Leaders need to minimise the impact of the assumptions that they have about others, maximise listening, and importantly maximise the impact of leadership communication.
In the early 1950s, Dr Eric Berne developed a theory about personality development tied to communication, which he called ‘Transactional Analysis’ (TA). It is a very useful and fascinating framework for analysing the behaviour (transaction) of both ourselves and other people.
In this model, Berne identified that we all communicate from what he called EGO STATES.
Parent State: Controlling Parent (CP), Nurturing Parent (NP)
The parent in TA is the set of recordings in a person’s mind of imposed, unquestioned, external events perceived between birth and age five. They are derived mostly from parents’ (or parental figures’) speech and behaviour – admonitions, punishments, cuddles, and encouragement. Berne says they are permanent and cannot be erased, and at intervals throughout our lives they will be played back to influence our behaviour.
It is sometimes described as ‘Life as it is taught’.
Child State: Natural/Free Child (NC), Adapted Child (AC)
The child in TA consists of recordings of internal events (feelings) experienced in the first five years of life in response to external events. Berne says that, like parental recordings, those in the child are permanent and can easily be triggered by events in adult life so as to influence behaviour. When behaving in our child state we think, feel, and do as we did when we were small – we are free/natural, creative, experimental, joyful and playful – we are obedient, rebellious, insecure, anxious and scared – adaptive so our needs are met. It is sometimes known as ‘Life as it is felt’.
Adult State: Adult (A)
Data acquired and computed through exploring, thinking out and testing ideas. It is sometimes known as ‘Life as it is tested’. When behaving in our adult state we operate in the ‘here and now’, are rational and unemotional. We seek information, respect other people, and are assertive and considered in our communication.
We all function in all of the states. There is no right answer!
Listen to Fiona talk about Transactional Analysis.
Please complete the questionnaire and handout up to page 5. This will form the basis of your 1-to-1 telephone conversation around your communication preferences and impact.
Stop here until you have had your 1-to-1 telephone conversations and thereafter work through the rest of this section making note and observations in your journal for discussion at a future group thinking space.
Resource: Transactional Analysis Questionnaire
Ladder of Inference
Chris Argyris developed the ladder of inference as a tool for double-loop learning – learning that produces a change in values and assumptions, not just behaviour change. The ladder of inference can be used for different purposes: to reflect on your emotional reactions, to facilitate the discussion of substantive issues, and to give people feedback. It provides a guide for effective advocacy and inquiry and sits comfortably alongside Transactional Analysis.
We live in a world of self-generating beliefs that remain largely untested. We adopt those beliefs because they are based on conclusions, which are inferred from what we observe, plus our past experiences.
Our ability to achieve the results we truly desire is eroded by our feelings that:
- Our beliefs are the truth
- The truth is obvious
- Our beliefs are based on real data
- The data we select are the real data
The key points for using the ladder of inference to promote productive conversation and effective action are:
- Be aware of your reasoning steps, publicly check your inferences, and encourage others to do the same
- Look for information that challenges your own and others’ assumptions and beliefs
- Be aware of how your own actions become information that others use to make inferences about you so that you can change
Guidance
- Connecting your assumptions and filters to Transactional Analysis and your behaviour and impact
- Stepping back from a situation and asking: ‘How do I know that is true?’
- Checking what assumptions you are holding about a situation
- Remembering it’s not all about you!
Resource: A Handout
Exploring your way of being in the system
When Peter Senge, one of the academics behind the theory and practice of systems thinking in organisations, was asked to describe ‘Systems Thinking’ he said: ‘Are you part of a family?’
This response is why I think it’s helpful to align the work on Transactional Analysis with Systems Thinking and Organisational Culture. The latter is ostensibly how the ‘system’ responds on a regular basis, its patterns of belonging and expectation, and how it enables or disables trust, truth and safety. It’s about how things feel, not how things are portrayed in the policies and procedures. It’s what it is really like to work in this organisation.
A healthy organisational system is comfortable with ambiguity, is diverse and inclusive, and works from the basis of collective intelligence. In this organisation you could expect to see a lot of Nurturing Parent, Adult and Natural Child Communication. An unhealthy system is the opposite and works on the basis that knowledge and position are power, and it has exclusive groups and norms. In this organisation you could expect to see a lot of Controlling Parent and Adapted Child.
Remembering that it’s not all about you, take a moment to watch a short video.
Guidance
Read the handout and questions, making reflections in your journal as you go.
We’ll be exploring this at one of our thinking spaces.
Resource: A Handout